If you sprinkle…

I saw a post earlier this evening in which Christine over at I’m Sick and So Are You talked about people who live in clean houses. Her post brought some things to mind and in my usual humorous and always sarcastic manner I decided to share my thoughts about this subject so here goes:

My house is now, and always will be, clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy! It will also always be full of love and laughter… It’s not just our living space it’s “Our Lived-in Place”. It’s where we go at the end of the day to hang out together, where putting your feet on the couch is cool and so is eating dinner in the den. The floors are clean enough to walk on — heck that’s what they’re there for right? The walls are painted with semi-gloss paint that can quite easily be wiped clean; after all, how long can little hands resist the urge to touch shiny surfaces? Beds are made at random which is great because they double as trampolines at night and in the cold winter months when playing outside is a no no. The bathrooms? Oh, they are kept spotless…well maybe not spotless, but definitely clean… ok, ok… maybe just tidy, but definitely germ free. As for the kitchen, I don’t allow bags of any type in the fridge and more than 3 takeout boxes in there at the same time is strictly prohibited. Dirty dishes are never left over night… Of the few things not allowed in our place, night crawlers top the list.

Moral of this story: if you’re ever in the neighborhood stop by. Don’t worry about taking your shoes off cause we don’t eat off the floor. If you can’t deal with the idea of eating in the den (off of clean plates… maybe paper, but definitely clean), you may want to go into the kitchen. If you happen to bring your own food and need to refrigerate it be sure and remove any bags first and if there are already three go boxes in the fridge yours will have to wait in line for the next available opportunity. Oh, and we have napkins so please don’t mess up the smeared spaghetti or the pudding that you’ll find throughout the house all over the walls. Also, napping could be hazardous to your health if either of the girls are in a jumping mood (warning: the smallest one often uses my body as an elevated surface to dive from so beware). And lastly, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please… you know the rest.

Thanks for stopping by ———-

 

#WRITESPIRATION #124 52 WEEKS IN 52 WORDS WEEK 28

Holiday Schmaliday-

We waited all year

Our plans were all set,

We waited in line

To board that big jet.

A tall woman walked over,

And asked for ID-

I sarcastically asked

Are you talking to me?

The taste of that carpet

Was dog crap I’m sure–

Next holiday season

I’ll be more mature!

 

 

 

 

writing prompt… “The secret you just discovered”

(“We’re over half way through, can you believe it? It’s gone in a flash as always, 2017 is bringing 52 challenges over 52 weeks.

Your challenge is to write your story using the weekly theme/prompt and write it in just 52 words…. EXACTLY, no more, no less.”

The secret you just discovered http://sumo.ly/CsZg via @sacha_black)

I just discovered

That I can fly

Hush hush now good people

I tell you no lie

How can I humanly

Mount to the sky?

That is my little secret

I say and I sigh

Okay, just one hint

And a hardy goodbye

With pen and pad

You too can fly high.

 

 

 

5 photos, 5 days, 5 silly stories, poems, paragraphs or “whatevers”

Ok, on Thursday I was invited to participate in the 5 photos in 5 days Challenge; many thanks to Dorne over at dorneawhale wordpress for the invite. You should go over and check her out. She’s and awesome writer.

The rules are simple:

1) Post a photo each day for five consecutive days.

2) Include a story which can be fiction, non-fiction, poetry, prose or a short paragraph. It’s entirely up to you.

3) Nominate another blogger to pick up the torch and carry out the same mission – if he or she so chooses.

and here is my first of 5: (and a silly little dilly to go with it)

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Hello honey, come in and have a seat

Let me fix you a big ole plate of alligator meat.

Now if you’d rather not, we got boiled crawfish in the back.

You can pinch the tails and suck the heads if for that you got the knack.

Oh you got a bigger hunger

want some shrimp and peas and beans?

You better pull your tee shirt out

And unbutton them there blue jeans!

And I officially nominate…. my new blog friend Twinkle Spark.

 

Was it Love? (a poem)

Was It Love?

Oh, but can the pain of a burden so heavy as deceit

Be cleared away so easily

With the mere touch of a soft hand to a wet cheek

Or the mere whisper of a sensuous word to a closed ear?

A burden of such magnitude,

A burden of such deformed placement,

A burden of such seemingly occult origin

Must be a burden of an offensive and doomed destination.

To say it will resolve itself,

To say it can be at all resolved

Is to say that you believe in more than miracles –

It is to say that witchcraft and sorcery are at the root of your being

Or has lov been falsely used and accused

 A victimized self created deceit

In and of itself

throughout the duration of its unbeing.

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