I’m not a fan of lists but I decided to compose this one for that small group of people group of small people, rather, who seem to be in need of a bit of reassurance.
P.S. THIS POST “AIN’T” ANONYMOUS. If anything about it offends (or resembles) you, then you are cordially invited to kiss my ass. Too strong? Ok, and I would never invite a coward under my clothes anyway -so, let me change that… you are cordially invited to cowgirl up and contact me for a personal one on one, adult size conversation.
NUMBER 1–I am not a security officer—I’ve paid my dues cupcake, I carry gun(s), not flashlights.
NUMBER 2–I do not sit with my feet propped up on desks—I’m too professional (and too cute) for that. Were my feet on the desk when I interviewed you during that investigation you were involved in sugar-doodle?
NUMBER 3–There are very specific, potentially life-saving, rules and laws about what one should do while driving. For example, one should never send and/or receive text messages while operating a motor vehicle. If I am asked to drive so that messages, emails and/or phone calls can be made and/or returned, in a timely manner, I have absolutely no problem doing so. Did I mention that I am a trained defensive driver, and I can navigate through traffic in a crisis situation with ease and reliability, sweetie pie?
NUMBER 4–I am a true “mother hen”, and sometimes that means sitting outside the henhouse, looking in.— Butter cup, there’s a lot to be said about tip lines, surveillance cameras and social media when it comes to detection, prevention and protection.
NUMBER 5–Officers who rotate between schools are typically from one of three pools, sweet cheeks… (1) not enough officers to have one at each school, (2) so good that he or she is capable of covering and acting as a rover/back up officer for the other officers or (3) the officer has been removed from a campus because of inappropriate or questionable behavior and placed in a “rotator” position.
NUMBER 6–My pockets, in no way, resemble my qualifications which are clearly verified by my years in service, my boots on the ground experience and my resume’, booboo kitty.
NUMBER 7–Unlike several of you who have an issue (with everything), I am a tax paying citizen of this community— I’ve lived here well over 20 years sweet pea.
NUMBER 8–My unmarked vehicle and my plainclothes status are by design. I can assure you that people are more willing to talk to me when I’m driving a Honda and wearing a business suit than they are when I’m in full police garb and a patrol car. Check the stats muffin!
Bottom line— I smile and speak when I see you because it’s obvious that it sucks to be you but please don’t let the smooth taste fool you. I promise I can be 10 times nastier than you and your entire little group of conspirators combined!
Hi, is this an odd name for a blog or what? We'd actually prefer it to be known as a peaceful, magical and mystical spot. It's a spot where you can stop in for a daily dose of love and laughter sprinkled with a bit of chaos, confusion and lunacy. You can get great recipes and cooking tips, as well as drilling and building ideas. Who does that? Who knows their way around the kitchen and around the tool shed?
Well, I guess that's part of what'll make this blog so interesting - that and the brief glimpse you'll get into a very elite and exclusive lifestyle - one that supports a "never a dull moment" and "everything ain't for everybody" attitude.
By the way, remember to keep an open mind (no judging or finger pointing), a watchful eye (be on the lookout for random giveaways), and a positive -pay it forward-attitude (everybody could use an occasional leg up).
Now I know it sounds easy, but don't get it twisted, this "dance ain't for everybody", it's not always a bowl full of cherries, but we make the best of it by drinking a whole lot of lemonade and by praying daily for peace, patience and understanding; after all, we woke up like this!