What do you do…?

So I had a conversation with a friend earlier today and we talked about my guy, Lucca. We talked about his beautiful life, his illness, the surgery and his final days. My little girl was in the room with me and when she suddenly buried her face in my chest, I realized she was crying. This was the first time I’d seen her cry for him since about 2 days after he died. I, on the other hand, have had countless tearful days about “my dude”. How was I to know she was still hurting? After all, he was MINE, MY guy, MY dude, MY handsome man!

I held her close and stroked her beautiful, dark, curly hair. Neither of us muttered his name and neither of us acknowledged her tears- we simply hugged until they stopped.

I don’t know if this was anyone else’s “right” way of dealing with this type of thing….

but it was ours…

 and he was too!

14 thoughts on “What do you do…?

  1. There is no right way. You need to deal with emotions the way the is best for the both of you. Sounds like you did just that – so it was perfect.

    Take care.


  2. I think you did exactly what you needed to do. We fill the air with too many words and explanations sometimes, and in reality we have no idea what we are talking about, we just want everything to feel okay. Learning to just be, and share tears is perfectly fine. I’ve been there, and it’s always been okay with me for someone to just cry along with my own sorrow. I have a friend of mine whose husband is very slowly dying at the moment, he’s in his 90’s, so can’t complain about having a short life! But, it’s still sad. She’s coping will a lot difficult things right now, and no time for tears, but I’m sure there’s going to come a day when we will (as long term friends shed some understanding tears) losing people is damn hard, and there are times when we just need another person to share our sorrow, and that’s all. I really wish all the very best for you and your lovely girl. 🙂


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