On Losing Lucca

(I try hard not to post sad stories but I’m struggling with losing my handsome Lucca and writing seems to somehow soothe my sadness… so bear with me…)

It was Easter Saturday 6 years ago. We were driving through the parking lot of our local super WalMart. The girls were happily discussing the upcoming Easter play and subsequent egg hunt. Suddenly, and almost simultaneously, we all spotted an older model pickup truck with a hand printed sign parked in one of the “north forty” spots. These two simple words were printed on the sign “Free Puppies”.

We had recently lost our beloved shepherd of 12 years, and I, for one, was not ready to replace her. I should have known better than to stop… but I stopped.  I should have been more adamant when I told them no… But I wasn’t.  I should not have looked into those beautiful green eyes…. But I did- and we took him home and he became my guy, my dude, my boy, my son!

Now, six years later, after being the most magnificent, loving, loyal and protective “guy” a family could ever have… I had to let him go. I had to make the most  contradictory decision of my life in regards to him. See my guy became ill, the doctor said that it was likely that he had some type of brain issue (perhaps a tumor) that caused him to become aggressive and confused. Call me selfish but I couldn’t bear the thought of watching him lose his light, his bounce, his zest for life!

On that day I cried, I sobbed openly, I slept and I wept. That day was one of the worst days of my life, and silly me, I thought today-  4 days later- would be easier. Oh boy, was I wrong. This is Saturday. The day “Lukey” and I would hang outside together. I am so lost without him. My prayer is that he’s not lost without me!

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14 thoughts on “On Losing Lucca

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